10 Years, and I'm still sober.

Have you ever heard that song by Kelly Clarkson "3 Months - and I'm still sober".
I fucking LOVE that song!



And I'll tell you, three months is a hell of a lot longer and a bigger deal than 10 years.

But, it has been 10 years for me. And I'm still sober.

So why do I feel so stupid claiming 10 years?
I know (or I think I know).
It's because I see all these AA Nazi in the program. The big headed men (no, literally they have BIG ginormous heads) that come bobbling into a meeting - AGAIN that speak for a good 10 to 15 - AGAIN, enlightening us with their knowledge and wisdom - AGAIN (gag!), telling all the new comers "How it Works".
Actually, they do have good stuff to say, but the impression they can leave when you've been to too many of the same meeting, well, lets just say it's healthy go "get out of the house" and go to a different meeting once in a while. Change things up.

I'm just not one to claim I know what the hell I'm doing. I know I'm doing something right, but what that is, I still don't know. It is truly by the grace of God, and the choices I made, what ever they are, that I managed to put this time together.
And sometimes I think it's because I listen more than I talk that I got here today.
Because the people I see talk too much are the ones who go back out (less the big heads).

For the record, I know I'm not alone saying I get sick of the people in my home group. I'm just glad I can say I'm sick of the people in my home group.

Because when I say that I hate the people in my home group, it means that I have one, and that I go to meetings, and I go to enough meetings to get sick of everyone there.

Hence - sober 10 years later.

Sometimes the higher road sucks!

How do you make and amends to someone for them being an asshole?
"Sorry your such a dick!"

This is going to be rough.
But my sobriety depends on it.
And not just saying "I'm sorry your so delusional that you think your right in a situation where you are so dead wrong that even the rats know so, and you think I'm an asshole, which at times is correct, but not this time!"
But my sobriety desperately depends on me not constantly mind fucking myself on someone else's behavior. To come to peace with our differences - and to quit daydreaming of all the nasty things I want to say to put them in their place, and to feel love and compassion instead.

I hate co-dependant people

There is ALWAYS a price tag on their acts of love. A very ugly price tag.
Fucking Martyrs!